Jenifer Toksvig

by Jenifer Toksvig, with the lovely Andrew Tilling

So Miss Brown is not on the train.

 

Miss Brown is not on the train!

 

Miss Brown is not on the train.

 

Alright!

 

My epi-pen.

 

It's alright. You're not going to have any nuts.

 

What are we going to do?

 

Have a good time when we get to France.

 

But the train's not moving. When will the train start moving?

 

Dunno. Anyone got any food? I'm starving.

 

 

So what's tripped the switch then?

 

A fire he said. Or a flood!

 

Can the tunnel flood?

 

Danielle!

 

The tunnel is not going to flood.

 

My house got flooded once. We had to buy all new furniture and everything.

 

My house got flooded too. We live next to a river and we had fish swimming through our kitchen. And a snake. A really big, fat snake. It was this long. All the way from here to there. No, there.

 

Can we stop talking about snakes and start talking about how to get off the train?

 

Get off the train?

 

 

We're not getting off the train.

 

We are if it's not going anywhere.

 

You can pop an emergency exit.

 

A window?

 

Yeah, and then there's little buses in the service tunnel that come and get you, if there's a problem.

 

Which there clearly is.

 

We are not getting off this train until it arrives in Paris.

 

What if it doesn't? What if it doesn't move?

 

Well they're not going to leave us down here.

 

The buses. Where do they take you?

 

What do you mean? Out.

 

Out where? To France or England?

 

Whichever is nearest I guess.

 

Which is nearest?

 

 

I don't know.

 

Oh come on!

 

You want me to measure it?

 

How long does it take to get to France normally?

 

Natalie's mum said twenty minutes.

 

And how long before we stopped?

 

Mark, what's going on?

 

Was it more than ten minutes?

 

It probably was, why?

 

I'm not going to France. If I got to France, I'll never come back.

 

It's a day trip.

 

We're going home later!

 

I'm sure if you explained...

 

No point. No time. I've just got to see Mum.

 

You can't. She's at The Facility.

 

I have to try. You can help me - you can help me, can't you? Help me get in?

 

 

I think so. I mean, I'll try.

 

Right. I'm getting off this train and I'm going back home. On one of those buses, or... or I'll walk. Can't be more than ten miles. You coming?

 

 

Yes.

 

You are so going to get it.